


Flying Aces

by GirlCalledBob



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Asexuality, Atlantis is a pretty inclusive place, Gen, Radek needs to mass produce those cards, Rodney's an asshole, ace!John Sheppard, all the gate technicians are massive dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlCalledBob/pseuds/GirlCalledBob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keller gave him a look like she was trying to work out if he was serious; then, wordlessly, she rooted around on her desk for a little paper pamphlet, and handed it to him.</p>
<p><i>Understanding Asexuality</i>, the flyer read in big, friendly letters. John shrugged, and started reading.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying Aces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shaded Mazoku (Ashkaztra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashkaztra/gifts).



The whole damn thing started because some marine couldn’t keep it in his pants. **  
**

No, seriously - one guy got some kind of alien STD, and suddenly Keller was insisting on mandatory testing for all field teams. And John wasn’t the only one with complaints; plenty of guys - and let’s be fair, it was mostly guys - were going on about invasion of privacy, which really only confirmed that apparently half of the field teams couldn’t keep it in their pants - but Keller was insistent. Information would be sealed and confidential, she said, but there _would_ be blood tests every three months, and after any mission which kept anyone off-world for more than two weeks.

John Sheppard was not exactly a fan of this plan, mostly because he preferred to keep his blood inside of his body. Bullet wounds in the line of duty were one thing, but entirely unnecessary blood tests he would rather avoid.  
“Colonel, I know you don’t like needles-”  
“It’s not the needles, it’s the… bloodletting.” John corrected, but Keller kept talking as if he hadn’t interrupted.  
“But it’s a necessary precaution - it’s a miracle more people haven’t caught something, you included.”  
And Keller gave him the _Look_ , the ‘I know what you’re like, playboy’ look that John had come to expect and hope for, because it meant he was fooling everyone just fine, even if it made him feel a little uncomfortable. **  
**

Well, fooling everyone was one thing. But three-monthly blood tests were something else entirely, and Keller was a doctor - it wasn’t like she was going to blow his cover or anything. Right?  
“Doc, I don’t have an STD-”  
“Well, not now you don’t, but you never know what could happened-”   
“And I’m never gonna have an STD, because-” John lowered his voice, glancing around to see if anyone would overhear. “Because I’ve never actually… had sex.”  
“Oh.” Keller blinked at him. “Never?” She repeated in a small voice.  
John braced himself for the inevitable concern and disbelief. At least he know the Doc would skip the mockery part.  
“Yeah, to be honest I’m just not, you know… into that,” he admitted as casually as he could. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s great, I just never… felt the need to try it out.”  
“Okay.” Keller nodded a little too vigorously. “Okay, well, I’ll make a note on your file, and… you just let me know if that ever… changes.”  
“Don’t… think it will.” He shrugged. “Seems a bit late to be starting now.”  
“John…” Keller said, and John knew she had something sympathetic and worried to say if she was busting out the first names. “If you’re asexual, that’s okay.”  
“If I’m… what?” **  
**

Keller gave him a look like she was trying to work out if he was serious; then, wordlessly, she rooted around on her desk for a little paper pamphlet, and handed it to him.

_Understanding Asexuality_ , the flyer read in big, friendly letters. John shrugged, and started reading.

* * *

“And of course, my relationship with Kanaan is considered adequate reason for exemption.”  
“Well, yeah, I get why you get out of it,” Rodney said through a mouthful of his lunch, “I just don’t see why Sheppard does. I mean, come on. Out of all of us, he is obviously the most likely to catch something.”  
“Rodney…” Teyla frowned at him. “It is extremely unlikely that Sheppard would catch any disease transmitted sexually.”  
“Can we not talk about this while I’m eating?” Ronon asked.  
“What?” Rodney snorted. “Come on, it’s Sheppard. He’s slept with like, half the galaxy by now.” **  
**

“Hey guys,” John said, elbowing his way onto the table next to Ronon, who grunted a greeting. “What’re we talking about?”  
“How you managed to get out of STD testing when you’ve had more sex than the rest of us combined.”   
“McKay!” Ronon glared.  
“Oh what, it’s just biology. It’s not gross or anything. Except all biology is gross.” Rodney shrugged, taking another bite of his sandwich. “It’s not any _more_ gross.”  
“For your information, Rodney,” John said, his ‘Rodney is annoying’ tone already creeping into his voice, “I told Keller that I…” Across the table, Teyla gave him an encouraging nod. “Am… asexual.” John finished in a low voice. These people were his friends - his team. He trusted them with his life; he had to be able to trust them with this, right?  
Rodney choked on his sandwich.  
“You reproduce by budding?”  
“No, I don’t-”   
“What I believe John is _trying_ to say,” Teyla cut in diplomatically, “is that he is simply… not interested?”   
“Yeah.” John agreed, trying to sound casual. “That.”  
“You don’t like sex?” Rodney asked; Ronon sighed, throwing down his own sandwich in defeat.  
“I’ve never _had_ sex,” John said, because if this train wreck of a conversation was going to happen it may as well be accurate.  
“What, never?”  
“Rodney…” Teyla sighed.  
“What, I just… it’s sex. Everyone loves sex.”  
“Not me, and, you know what? That is… perfectly normal.” **  
**

John thought he even managed to sound like he wasn’t trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Rodney.  
“Many people have many preferences, Rodney,” Teyla pointed out reasonably. “It is not so different from your relationship with Doctor Zelenka.”  
“It is nothing like me and Radek! For one thing, we _definitely_ have-”

Ronon reached over the table and calmly crushed Rodney’s drinks can with one hand, and the scientist shut up.  
“Teyla’s right,” he said, putting the can down.  
“Yeah,” John agreed, surprised by how unsurprised he was at the show of support. “You know, some people might say that you wanting a loud, angry, co-dependant relationship with another man is unnatural, and some people might say me not wanting any relationships is… also unnatural. And they’re wrong. On both counts.”  
“It’s just biology, McKay,” Ronon teased; Rodney rolled his eyes.  
“Okay fine,” he grumbled. “I still think you’re weird, but, whatever makes you happy.”  
“Well thank you for the permission, Rodney.”   
“You’re welcome.” **  
**

* * *

 

Two days later, Zelenka sent him a ‘sorry my boyfriend is an asshole’ card. John suggested he might want to get those mass produced.

* * *

Lorne just sort of came out and said it one day, because he’d always been kind of straightforward like that.  
“Rumour going around says you’re gay, sir.”  
“No, I’m… asexual.” Every time he said the word, it felt more right.  
“Thought so. Anyway, that’s why Peters is on kitchen duty for a month.”

* * *

 

One of the gate technicians - it was probably Chuck - stuck a poster that said ‘Hey, You’re Ace!’ on the wall of the main gate room, and John wouldn’t have thought anything of it except three different people all winked at him when they saw him notice it.

A short woman whose patch identified her as British, and whose literally green fingers identified her as a botanist cheerfully offered him her spare black ring, displaying her own proudly.  
"It proves you're a member of the secret club," she explained. "And it'll unlock your superpowers. Plus it's solid steel, it really does damage if you punch someone."  
He didn't know if she was the one behind the black, purple and white flag that just sort if appeared in his room, but he was pretty sure she was responsible for the two biochemists with split lips who couldn't look him in the eye. **  
**

No one really _said_ anything, but John still felt weirdly… supported. He noticed a dropoff of sexual comments and jokes around him, people flirted less, and when pretty women smiled at him off-world, not even Rodney gave him the _Look_. **  
**

Because off-world folks did still flirt, except now John didn’t have to make his awkward, lame excuses and bolt - these days he just smiled, gesturing to the ring on his middle right hand finger. Oh, sure, they didn’t know what it meant; but his confident shrug and casual ‘not interested’ usually got the message across.

So maybe he missed the flirting a little - flirting was fun, even if it never came to anything - and maybe he’d just sort of quietly put it out there that people didn’t have to be so damn cautious about the innuendos, he was a _soldier_ after all, he’d heard it all before.  
But honestly? The whole thing was like a weight he’d never realised he’d been carrying around all this time. He’d never exactly felt like there was something _wrong_ with him, but it was nice to know he wasn’t the only one.

“Morning, Ace!” Yelled the botanist, across the mess hall, sticking up her middle finger in rude triumph. John didn’t repeat the gesture, if only because, as a commanding officer, he was meant to be setting an example. But he did shout, ‘Morning, Ace!’ right back at her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a short scrappy thing I wrote because Sha and I are pretty sure headcannoning John as ace not only makes sense, but makes the _most_ sense. It was pretty quickly done, and me not having watched the show for ages, but all the same, I think it turned out pretty good.
> 
> Please ignore the thinly veiled botantist self-insert and her ace rings. She only wanted to make sure John got his superpowers.


End file.
